What You Missed at the PWA September Speaker Event: Great Expectations
sabato, ottobre 29th, 2011by Caroline Flanagan
Which are you, a Ditherer or a Plunger?
Were you fortunate enough to spend time by the swimming pool or near the sea this summer? Well if you’re like me, and enjoy observing people, you will have noticed that the world is divided into two types of swimmer: the Ditherer and the Plunger!
The Ditherer takes half an hour to get from their sun lounger to the edge of the pool or sea. They fiddle around with their things, reapply sun lotion, reposition their swim costume, all the time thinking about getting in the water but not actually doing it. When they do eventually get to the water’s edge, they put first one toe in, then another, just to test the water. A knee follows, then eventually the waist. A good 45 minutes can go by between the decision to go swimming and them actually taking the plunge!
And then there are the Plungers. They decide they are going swimming, and before you can say “swimming costume” they have taken the plunge, disappearing beneath the waves only to re-emerge refreshed and exhilarated 100 metres out to sea.
We deprive ourselves of the opportunity to achieve
This business of the Ditherer and the Plunger is an excellent metaphor for how many of us behave in our lives when it comes to achieving our goals. Although we know what we need to do to achieve our goals, we approach such tasks with hesitancy and uncertainty, a bit like the Ditherer on the beach who hovers at the water’s edge. We talk about our goal, we think and dream about it. We even take small steps towards achieving it. But we never really commit ourselves fully and so deprive ourselves of the opportunity to fully achieve our goals.
Commit your whole body and mind
Hovering at the water’s edge with your feet in the water is all very well. Yes its cooling, it even gets you wet. But it is not swimming. To be swimming (in other words, to achieve your goal) you need to commit your whole body and mind. You need to take the plunge. Jump in! Dive in! Launch yourself dramatically off the nearest diving board. However you choose to do it, do it with conviction. The sea may at times be cooler or rougher than you expected but any initial discomfort will quickly fade beneath the thrill of dancing with the waves and gliding through the water’s surface towards your goal.
Dreams, Hopes and Wishes will only get you so far
When you talk about your goals what language do you use? Do you tell people that you Dream of running your business, that you Wish you could give up your job and travel around the world, or do you talk about all the things you Hope to do one day when the circumstances are right. The language we use is an indicator of who we are when it comes to achieving our goals. Which are you? A Dreamer, a Hoper, or a Wisher?
Dreams Hopes and Wishes are of course an important part of the goal process. Without them we would not be able to imagine a better life for ourselves, nor be able to see that life as possible. But to dream, to hope and to wish is not enough. Because when we go through life as Dreamers, Hopers and Wishers, two things happen:
1. we wait for circumstances beyond our control to improve or turn in our favour, such as a better economic climate, a change of employer; and
2. we take small steps towards our goals, fooling ourselves that we are making real progress, when all we are doing is dangling our feet in the waters, each resulting in a failure to fully realise our goals.
Make the commitment, and strange things will happen
If you really want to achieve your goals you need to have Great Expectations of yourself. This means making a full commitment to what you wish to achieve. Then and only then will your goal become a reality. When you do this, strange things will happen:
• instead of being a passenger in your own life, you’ll become the driver and can choose the direction you want to go in;
• instead of wallowing in comfort, you’ll find the courage to step outside of your comfort zone, into the zone of discomfort where real change and learning takes place;
• instead of feeling like a powerless victim of circumstances, you’ll start to feel powerful;
• instead of being crippled by self doubt, as a result of taking decisive action you’ll start to believe in yourself;
• instead of waiting for change, you’ll discover more and more ways to initiate it;
• instead of standing still, your life will gather momentum and you’ll start to move forward,
Do what you’ve been avoiding
To truly commit yourself means to do the one thing you’ve been avoiding doing because the circumstances aren’t right or because you feel you’re not ready. Usually it is the thing that fills you with the most fear. Asking for a promotion or pay rise; walking out on a dead-end relationship; or approaching a big corporation for work for example. Whatever it is, you are not truly committed to your goal until you’ve done it. Until then, you’ll just be sitting by the side of the swimming pool with your feet in the water, watching other swimmers reach their goals and wondering why you aren’t one of them.
Begin it now!
If you want to succeed, it is no good dreaming, wishing or hoping. The only way to get results is to commit yourself bodily and mentally to your goal by taking the one significant step that you’ve been avoiding or putting off. This is your Great Expectation, it is what you must expect of yourself, and it is the key to your success. In the famous words of Goethe:
“ Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it now!
Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now!”
About Caroline
Caroline is a coach, writer and speaker who has a passion for personal growth and for discovering new ways to help others achieve fulfilment in their lives. Read more at her website www.carolineflanagan.com